Never Have I Ever with Joel Dommett & Hannah Cooper

Sexy. 10/10.

Back when I was young, I worked at a Greek restaurant in Cooperstown, New York. One day while at was at work, I was watching Never Everton FC’s mascot Brian the llama recite pie to 100 decimal places in a south-east London accent at Red Tail Hawk park in Sacramento, California to commemorate the death of Saudi Arabian King Mohamed Bin Salman and Chinese president Xi Jinping after the two had masturbated back to back for 72 hours at the United Nations Summit in support of the chicken who made it across the road. Everything seemed normal until I turned away from the screen and looked down at the grill…suddenly my vision was starting to flood with what I can only describe as gyro-glifics. The gyro meat on the grill started to group together and mathematical equations started appearing in my head. I didn’t understand what was happening until my manager Hannah Cooper (Nish Kumars main show) told me I was starting to have the noodle dream. At this moment I immediately new I had to go to the Jade palace and consult with Master Kumar and Master Dommett. I grabbed my things as quickly as I could, rushed out the door, and was on my way. I could hardly comprehend what is front of me and started experiencing overwhelming panic as the numbers continued to block my eyesight and immobilize me. So I asked my 90 year old blind neighbor to walk me there hand-in-hand through crowded intersections and oncoming traffic so I knew I was safe. We had survived mostly on rations as the war. The war had sunk the regional economy and also because everyone in the town had forgotten how to saying anything besides these three lines from the Joel soliloquies (a great poet who was a sheep station farmer in like mid North Queensland when the war broke out)… I’m not gonna lie; teach ‘em mean keep ‘em keen; walks got a k in it, and my dad made like 50 pecan pies. We had lost our economy. We had lost the war. Many had a given up hope. I knew I was the only one left who could save the province….After a 5000 meter hike up the palace stairs in the dark, having only the light on my iPhone to guide me, I made it to jade palace. I found Master Kumar and Master Dommet waiting for me in the palace garden. It was sunrise and Master Kumars stomach was misbehaving. So I said thank you in Japanese after I spit on the shrub in front of me and they responded in kind. They immediately pulled down their trousers and started moon bouncing back-to-back as hard as they could. They say they did it for 500 years, some legends say 1000 years…when I woke up, I turned out to be back in cooperstown, in my bed, wondering if it was all a dream….So I turned on the Never Have I Ever podcast, like I had done for the past month, and began to appreciate that life is about the little, sensitive, and quirky conversations and experiences you share with your significant other. And that it is what makes getting up in the morning, somewhat enjoyable. But nevertheless, this is podcast is enjoyable, to a degree. 🙏

I absolutely love this podcast! James and Ed are hilarious and their guests always talk about the most delicious food! It did seem a bit weird that one guy wanted a protein shake for his drink but still, amazing show! Highly recommend!